How about a guy who juggles three ping-pong balls... with his mouth? Or maybe the fellow on the 6-foot unicycle who jumps over volunteers lying on the

stage? And don't pass up the Butterfly Man, so named for that large specimen of lepidopetry tattooed on his forehead. Eat your heart out Cher .

 

Announcement: Due to persistent request, the gym will no longer be closed from 4:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. for cleaning; please keep an eye out for sleepers.

 

Meanwhile ink-stained wretch Russ Kaufman, ace copy­boy at the Crustacean Crab ("All The Sleaze We Can Squeeze"), claims he does know Jack Shit! Ya read it here first. The Airbrush Cafe's Ernie Markum puts the finishing

touches on a pair of six foot hands. As they're installed under the NCAA logo on the wall to make it look like the hands are juggling the logo's basketballs, everybody claims they knew what was going on.

And the art-work-cum-trophies? Why, the trophies for the Baltimore Three Ball Open, of course.

 

Question: Where're they holding the workshop on ball bouncing? manipulative miscellanea? volleybird? knot throwing? street performing in Japan and Europe ?

 

Just off the plane from the Land of the Rising Sun, Balto.'s own Variety in Motion add their own experiences to the panel discussion as various wanna-bees line up to give the NIK representative video tapes that the neophytes hope will lead to bookings. Love to know what the Yakuza thought of the Butterfly Man.

 

Question: So where can I tie-up? Gotta get in some practice with five balls on the slack rope...

 

Calling all Chair Bears: Let's go! Rack after rack of chairs, up a flight of stairs, past the pneumatic bleachers, out onto the gym floor. Set and break, set and break: Junior Championships (Anthony Who?!), Team and Individual  Championships, Airborne Public Show...

 

All this for a T-shirt?

 

And for Big Momma. Chairjuggler of the convention, fashion maven to the stars, our-very-Baltimore-own: Laura Green, AKA Miz Tilly, AKA Big Momma, AKA the broad with the mauve doo-to-die-for.

 

Does this woman ever sleep?! She's there for the BBC blokes, ABC's Good-Morning crew, the New York Times reporter, and at 1:00 a.m. centerstage for a rousing Renegade welcome.

 

Message Board: 5 club juggler, good passer, looking for female partner willing to travel at moment's notice; must have car.

 

Overheard at the torch-passing workshop: "What do you do if you catch the fire end?" "Let go."

 

Bidding's hot and heavy over in the multi-purpose room for the IJA auction as a weekend at the Cadillac of nudist resorts -- Kissimmee 's proud home of the Annual Nude Jugglefest -- goes on the block; veggie meals are included.

THURSDAY NIGHT: The convention band gives new meaning to eclectic, balloon missiles caroom through the dark.

 

Awards Night emcee Dave Finnegan is almost (?) upstaged by his sign-interpreter as he open the party with kudos and puppets for those who've spent the last twelve months swapping MCI numbers and promising first-borns to Saint John Bosco.

 

Karl Heinz-Ziethen, juggling's answer to the Smithsonian, accepts the first IJA Extraordinary Achievement Award for his many contributions to our art; later he promises to will his collection to the IJA. Anthony Gatto graciously receives the IJA Award of Excellence, and spends most of the convention humbly showing everyone why he deserves it.

 

So much to juggle, so little time: joggling 100 yard dash, the Baltimore Three-Ball Open, calzone at Melanzoni's? Go for the carbs! Fun Facts To Know: 27 packs of Planters Peanuts do not a dinner make. Until you add dessert.

 

Announcement: We need ten more jugglers for the record, ten more jugglers... Loyola's plastic athletic field outside the gym is kicking back at least 110 degrees as 524 jugglers wait for the signal from the official Guiness representative to break the record for the most jugglers juggling the most objects in one place. BBC cameras send us back to Lady Di as the record falls amid a shower of sun, laughter, and friendship.

 

A father and daughter from Texas spend an extra night in town and attend the BJA meeting on Monday; a couple from Wisconsin learns to make balloon animals; Teresa in a 'fat' suit whizzes past on a uni; the Towson Comedy Juggling Competition amid the produce market; a guy from Arizona suggests a post-and-two to two beginners and then asks for directions to Crabtown's nightspots; a New Zealander shares magic tricks; passing balls with a teen from Pittsburgh with a patient mom; Larry V gallumps on a giant pogo stick while juggling many balls; and Nancy , always-smiling-Nancy (I think it's love), from Boston .

 

Torches whoosh and weave over Baltimore 's Harborplace Amphitheatre as jugglers and assorted revellers gather in the shadow of the U.S.S. Constellation for a final round of campfire pyrotechnics under the direction of the delectable Mardene Rubio. And the strong close down the Renegade Stage hours later.

But what about the Benefit Show? History Lounge? Flying Heart Matinee? Flea market and record setters? Not now: I've just been mugged by Morpheus.

 

Question: Are you going to make UCLA in '90?

Are you kidding?! .:.

 

(Tom Lilly has been juggling with the Baltimore Jugglers Association since October 1988, is currently working on some of Miz Tilly's 3-ball tricks, and hopes to see Nancy's smile once more before he dies.)