(From Stanyons Magic, June 1903)

Stage set as a bedroom. When curtain goes up, performer is seen in bed playing the part of the sluggard. Alarm clock rings on table and performer reaches out of bed for a stick with which clock is forthwith knocked off table. Gets up with mirror held in front of himself, walks round and gets back into bed again.

Gets us (dressed in pajamas) and lights candle, walks about in pajamas and drinks out of large wash jug. Throws jug in air, and turning round attempts to catch jug, but it falls and is smashed to pieces. The same fate is meted out next to the washstand basin.

Next follows a burlesque on Sandow's home course of physical culture, all apparatus being diminutive and all exercises done in the laziest manner possible. Finally he falls exhausted on the bed. Next rings a bell, goes out and brings back his own breakfast. Snuffs candle with bell. Juggles dexterously with cups, teapot, etc., but gets his hand caught in a cup. As he cannot get his hand out, smashes cup with a hammer, then discovers he has cut off half of one of his fingers (finger bent at middle joint), finds portion of finger and sticks it on again.

Spins top hat round finger and other movements, finally rolling hat along arm on to head.

Throws a large china vase, containing a tree four  feet high, in the air, turns round and endeavours to catch vase but it is smashed to pieces and performer falls over tree.

Continues every now and then to fall over this tree.

Next follows an imaginary act of going down into the cellar by lifting a flap on stage, done by a gradual stooping behind flap, and back again.

Juggles with a plate, with various movements on hand.

Juggles sword and two apples, throws one apple to audience who throw it back and he burlesques catching it on point of sword. Really misses it and quickly sticks on the other apple all the time in the hand. Gets the apple he missed and does it again.

Juggles three apples and catches one on fork held in mouth. Throws one to audience (a confederate who changes it for a hollow one) who throws it back thinking he will catch it on fork. It hits him on the head and smashes to pieces. He falls, apparently dead, on stage, and finally crawls back into bed. Afterwards shows his arm, gets muscle up (rubber ball) and fires a revolver. Works a rattle, breaks a chain, lifts a heavy (apparently) weight and throws it away (rubber).

A large ball comes on stage and chases performer around, dodging him, etc. This is, apparently, on a thread or wire. It suddenly disappears and performer gets wild and fetches a hammer to hit someone.

Balances a large lamp on his forehead (audience thinking surely he will not break a beautiful thing like that). The lamp falls, but it does not break even though it falls head first on its glass chimney. It is a beautiful, imitation of china and glass made of rubber!