BY JEFF MILLER

What do the Encyclopedia Britannica and the U.S. Patent Office have in common?

In the 1840's a government official tried to close down the Patent Office because he felt that everything possible had already been invented. He was, to use government parlance, a bit inaccurate. And according to the Encyclopedia Britannica, "Final defeat for vaudeville came from mechanically reproduced theater entertainment..." Again, a bit inaccurate.

So, with that out of the way, let's get one thing straight: Jacob Mills and Nina Cheney are not jugglers. Just look at the poster: "From the entertainment capitol of the world, Mt. Horeb, Wisconsin... Cheney and Mills present... a New Vaudeville Extravaganza - Wacked - Out Comedy and Juggling!" Twenty-three words, and only one of them deal with dexterity. Why? Because if and when Cheney and Mills become household names, it won't be as "those jugglers."

Before he ever learned to juggle, Jacob Mills was a graduate from the Hayes­Marshall School, a performance education center that has its roots back in France at the Ecole Jacques LeCoq. With a strong background in acting, mime and physical comedy, Jacob was running the Theater Harmony Ensemble, a street performance group.

Then he met Nina Cheney, a graduate of Del Arte and veteran of the trade who had spent time street juggling in both the U.S. and Europe. After she taught him to juggle, a team was created that (so far) has lasted 17 years and one child. "I remember we worked with another couple shortly after I met Jacob," Nina reminisces. "One of them told me, 'You know, there's not a lot of romance in this.' But I was completely head over heels for Jacob, so it was hard to imagine..."

They both laugh when she adds, "But now I see what he means!"

What is the main benefit of being married to your partner? "Logistics," Jacob says. "You always know when your partner is going to be available for practice." ("That's probably why we don't practice very much," Nina wryly adds).

They began to create a sort of "Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz kind of thing" according to Jacob. "Bums and Allen, all those old couple acts had a very big influence on me. We even tapped into those reviewer guys on the Muppets. I'd say 'I want you to know I've been a professional juggler for half my life!'"

"Well, how come I get this half!?" Nina finishes for him.

Without actually seeing them it may be hard to understand what works so well for Two Complete Fools, as they call themselves. Their juggling on stage is smooth and professional, but for the first half of the act the most juggling you see is Jacob doing a four ball routine. You do get to see his new socks ("They don't go with anything I wear. That's why they're cool!"). You do get to hear hits from their latest album, Love Songs from Norway. If you're lucky, you may get to see the unforgettable: devil-sticking a bugle. Most of all, you get to see Cheney and Mills act... married!

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