47-4,p20

Ask Me Anything

BY PROFESSOR T.I. CHEEK

Welcome to a new column that will appear in juggler's World on an irregular basis. It will be dedicated to the sharing of information. Information about juggling and information about life.

You are invited to send in any questions to Professor T.I. Cheek c/o juggler's World Magazine; Davidson NC. Professor Cheek will answer most questions himself from his vast store of knowledge. Other questions will be turned over to our crack research staff. Professor Cheek will make up answers to any remaining questions.

Dear Professor,

My husband recently learned to juggle. He's not very good but it (juggling) is all he wants to do. Can you give me some advice?

Signed, Neglected Bride

Dear Bride,

Yes, I can. A friend, Dean Franzen, once said that, "juggling is like sex. You don't have to be that good to enjoy it."

To which, I added, "But it's more fun with somebody else."

Two thoughts come to mind here. First, don't send him off to the orgy of juggling alone, join in the fun. You can learn, too. You may not be as good as he is. You may be better! But you WILL have fun. You'll be joining a large family of great people.

Second, like sex, juggling will become less of an obsession with time. Now he can't walk by a produce stand without stopping for a toss, or three. As he approaches middle age, juggling wise, juggling will become less frequent but more satisfying. But be ready for him to grab a melon now and then until his dying day!

Dear Professor,

Can you explain how it is possible to switch from back crosses directly to chops while spinning a ball on a mouth stick and two rings on one leg?

Signed, Impatient

Dear Impatient,

NO!!

Dear Professor,

I've been juggling for about six years, and performing a little for the past two years. It's nothing major, just libraries, local festivals, scouts, etc. My problem is that I'm a rather mediocre juggler. I can juggle three of anything but nothing beyond that. The audience will laugh and enjoy the show but I think I should be a better technical juggler. I've reached a plateau and can't seem to improve.

Signed, Stuck

Dear Stuck,

You are laboring under a major misconception - that audiences enjoy juggling. They don't! They enjoy entertainment. If you stood up in front of the average audience and juggled nine balls their reaction would be, "Neat, can you do ten?" Other jugglers will enjoy a show of technical skills, but most people just want to have fun.

I'm not saying you shouldn't try to improve your juggling skills! If you're "stuck" at three objects, work on polishing that. Remember, you can do more things with less objects. You could spend a year learning to do a five ball cascade and the audience wouldn't care a bit. Or, you could take that time and polish a dozen three balls tricks. Those tricks and a few jokes to go with them WILL please the audience.

Spend some time on your performance skills and perfecting your act. Volunteer to do a show for a fourth or fifth grade class. Tell the teacher you want a thank-you letter from each student. The kids will tell you what they liked. If half the class says they like the ring spinning tricks, do more of them next time. If nobody mentions the fancy club tricks, save your time.

I guarantee you, if you smack yourself in the head or drop a club on your toe, they will be entertained. Take an improv or theater class. Dance or voice training can be a great help.

Remember, on stage you are NOT a juggler. You are an entertainer. If you can entertain through juggling, then you can educate the audience too. You can plant the seed that gets some kid started juggling. So don't give up! You are an asset to your community and to the world of juggling.

Top Ten Things You Are Unlikely to Overhead at a Juggler's Festival

BY JESSE RAIFORD

10. "Oh my gosh! Is that Jay Gilligan with Madonna?!"

9. "Careful Bill, that last pass nearly nicked my Rolex."

8. "Oh honey, look at the interesting, black banner from the Baghdad club."

7. "Man, that Limbaugh dude does a nasty pirouette off the left-handed double in a shower pattern."

6. "Have you decided to sign the endorsement contracts with Coke or Gatorade?"

5. "Between you and me, the groupies-waiting-in-the-closet thing gets a bit tiresome."

4. "Funny, for the last five minutes I haven't heard a single complaint about the judging, the space, the lighting, the dates, the cost, the drive-time, the city, the entertainment, the music, the diabolo guy, the t-shirts or the IJA."

3. "Rumor has it that St. Moritz and Rio are in a bidding war for next year's festival."

2. "I say we dump Secretary Dingman and call in Don Fehr. Look what he did for baseball!"

1. "That's OK, I'll get the tab."

Top 10 Things You Really Don't Want to Hear from Your Club Passing Partner

10. "How many fingers am I holding up?" (drifting in through the echoing sounds of your face being slapped by an ill-timed quad).

9. "Torches, smorches! Stop whining about the occasional one-and-a-half's."

8. "Hasta La Vista, Baby'" (with a thick Austrian accent).

7. "What luck! It was happy hour all afternoon at the bar where I waited for stuggling to jart. .. "

6. "I'm a swimsuit model, my parents are worth millions and I've dreamed about finding a passing partner like you. But my husband.....

5. (In the recovery room) "The surgeon decided to push the club through, rather than extract it from such a messy entrance wound."

4. "I know some really bitchin' mime moves we can work on next."

3. "My name's Richard, Richard Simmons. Don't you watch my videos?"

2. "Of course I respect you, we can always be friends and I promise to call. It's just that..... "

1. "Gee, should I be throwing that left-handed multiplex triples tomahawk a count later?"