Page 32                                                Fall 1986

Ask the Professional

 

by Frank Olivier (From questions asked at San Jose)

 

Dear Professional,

Sometimes when I juggle my clubs go too wide, what can I do? Also sometimes they tell me to hurt people. Am I o.k.?

                                                     Concerned

 

Dear Concerned,

You're fine, your clubs are sick, don't listen to them! As far as keeping your pattern from going too wide, concentrate on the angle of the clubs, holding them straighter and not letting them angle away from you as much. When I have a problem similar to this I try to overcompensate the opposite way so that I can understand the full spectrum of what motion is possible. Then it's easier to choose the optimum tosses. Also be sure that you are turning the clubs enough.

 

Dear Pro,

Who is Bob? What is Bob? and how can I become a Bob juggler?

A Friend

 

Dear Friend,

You have several options: 1) Shave and tatoo your head. 2) Be huge and beat everyone at combat. 3) Change your name (Preferably to "Bob") 4) Just bounce up and down while you juggle.

 

Dear Professional,

How can I find the optimum spot on a ball to spin it?

Wobbly Spinner

 

Dear Wobbly,

Try floating it in water, and marking the side that settles upward. Please use only water, syrup makes a mess.

 

Dear Professional,

How do you feel about the Lucas­inspired Grand Slam ring?

                                                Who?

Dear Who,

 It's very easy to poke fun at Albert for this. I am adamantly against making fun of Mr. Lucas. However, his project here deserves a little prodding. From my point of view it would be more impressive and less pretentious to create the prize before winning it; it's a little like shooting an arrow, and then naming your target. Juggling is not a real "sport" and trying to promote it to the level of the Superbowl in one step is like trying to get tiddlywinks into the Olympics.

Dear Professional,

When can one consider themselves an intermediate juggler?

A beginner

 

Dear Beginner,

When you stop signing your name that  way.

(Frank Olivier is a professional comedian and juggler from Berkeley, California)

(Frank Olivier is a professional comedian and juggler from Berkeley, California)

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