Dear Un,

Yes indeed, I have some suggestions. First make sure your insurance (health, acci­dent, and performers) is all paid up. The most important thing about juggling any dangerous prop for an audience is NEVER HURT THE AUDIENCE!!!! It can get you some free publicity, but it'll cost you jobs and it may cost you a LOT of money in a lawsuit. And you'll give the rest of us a bad name.

Audiences don't really enjoy dangerous juggling. They enjoy entertainment. All of the props you mentioned have their strong and weak points. Chain saws cost a lot of money and the gas fumes can cause prob­lems in enclosed spaces.

Juggling knives, at least good ones, don't come cheap either. You can find or make less expensive knives but I've never found any as good as the "High-Priced" brand. You get what you pay for.

Fire, in the form of touches, is about the same price as good knives. But many places won't allow fuel or open flame indoors. You burn down one little tiny school and they never let you forget it!

For my money, take the fire. Remember, you're up there to entertain the people and the people find fire ENTERTAINING! I don't discount the noise and the smoke of three chainsaws, though. Houdini said to entertain as many of the senses as possible (the reason strippers wear lots of perfume), and the noise and smoke are part of the entertainment.

A good build up with knives - chopping carrots, balloons, etc. - can be very funny. Audiences love fast low chops with knives, with the appropriate martial arts screams. The flash of cold steel catches the eye. But fire reaches down to that deep. end of the gene pool and grabs that caveman in all of us by the neck. The shoulders stoop a litde. The brow drops and the lower lip hangs loose. We give a Tim "The Toolman" Taylor grunt (Taylor is a U.S. TV character known for his distinct lack of evolution -ed.).

The best way to draw a crowd is to set yourself on fire. The second best way to draw a crowd is to LOOK like you're going to set yourself on fire. A fire devil-stick is the best opening I've ever found for a street show. A nice high toss can be seen a couple of blocks away. A low fast helicopter spin (after the fuel has burned down a litde) looks like you're about to set yourself on fire. Add a couple of lines about trimming unwanted nose hair or too long a beard and you've got an opening that WILL draw a crowd. Now it's your job to entertain them and make them pay.

Count your hat money and figure out what you can afford in the way of dangerous

props. Figure on $100 to $150 for three good torches or knives, and $300++?? for chainsaws. Danger is not entertainment by itself. Use the element of danger as part of the entertainment. If you want to injure yourself, or somebody else, please find another activity.

Dear Professor Cheek,

I think I could make a living as a profes­sional juggler. Any advice?

Dear Hopeful,

The advice I always hear when I perform is: "Don't quit your day job!" I'll check around and have more info for you next time.